Worst part is it’s me – I screw up big time

– it’s not me paying

– have to stand and watch how the impact is destroying someone I claim to love unconditionally

Love suddenly becomes tangibly

– physical in so many ways and I’m not entitled to claim … anything

How could I be so stupid – so egoistic

How could I

– leave the mess for others to clean up

It hurts – suck it up – Just shut it – it’s nothing like what she’s paying

Nobody gets more than they deserve – bullshit – she does not deserve this – I did it to her

I’d give my life for her – there’s nothing she needs from me now

– I suck at that too

I started it – nothing more nothing less!

“… loosing what I don’t deserve … ”

Pain – they’re there – I’m not loosing those

They’re for being so cruel

Those I can claim.