Today was the day for the annual Barbeque in our local Arts Society. A beautiful, sunny day in the company of nice friends.

Daughter and our guest came some hours later (as soon as food was available). A computer was of course brought by daughter – what else? Who couldn’t need a computer at a Barbeque? GEEZ!!! Well, I just left the young people alone, ’cause clearly I’m not THAT understanding, and then it’s better to keep some distance 😉 and just enjoy being with people WITHOUT computers!

Our guest has been fun to have with us here, although it’s hard to tell – for me – whether she thinks it’s been fun to be here so far, but now she’s moving to a room tomorrow, that she was so lucky to get right in the center of the City! NO danes – the ones I know – has ever heard of being able to get a room that fast (a weeks search), but it’s logic that the University must have some contacts avaiable for the foreign students, but it certainly isn’t quite visible for them just how hard it is to get a place to live for our young people here. Well, it’s good they are not left in the dark, when they come here from far away.

This week’s certainly taught ME a great deal about myself. Not all good I must reluctantly confess! I just don’t get, that other human beings aren’t as curious about life and things around them as I am myself, so I get to be considered pushy/’mommish’, which is far from what I want to be seen as, because it’s not nice features as far as I see it. I can’t really see where I go wrong (duh! of course!) and frankly I’m not sure at this point in my life, why I should change myself!

Ah, I’m just a tiny bit frustrated, for the fact, that what I’m doing to be helpful to other, appears as something to laugh about, or even ignore or irritating by others and I get really lost there! I can’t find out, if I should tell those thinking negative about it to go f… themselves, or if I should take it more seriously and change my approach? But I am who I am and how I am is part of me, so …

– And I’ve already had to change myself several times to survive, so as I got older I actually enjoyed being able to relax a bit and turn back to what I found to be more natural for me. Part of that is, that I talk a lot – A LOT!!!  And I LOVE to have/get knowledge and share it with others. So what if there’s nobody to share it with! Ah, but there’s a snag: I have beautiful friends, that accept the who and what I am and always only laugh WITH me – not AT me!

I might just be tired after not having rested enough for some weeks now, so I think I’ll go on thinking a bit here and maybe just ignore whether or not the whole world loves me!

I just wish not to be laughed at – it’s not a good feeling! – and right here and now – today – I don’t feel that it’s right that what I give is what I get – or is it???