We’re a group! Online and getting silly, serious, thinking, worrying about others, coming close and still private!

I’ve also some real people being my friends only I’ve never really met them! How is it possible to get into friendships without ever meeting? I’m confused about that! The old fashion ways of seeing relationships have to be revised and the word “friend” is not the same any more. Then there’s the friends of flesh and blood!

Or is it the same?

It was kind of easy before: Children, marriage, family, friends, collegues, neighbours and acquainteds – in that order! Now – things are changing – aren’t they? Relationships!

No more grading! Except my kid will allways be first – even before myself – and then comes all the others.

But the depths of the communication makes the difference? It’s not groups any more! “Family” as a group don’t necessarily comes before “Friends” as a group. The group-thing is non-existing and all interactions are between individuals instead. Still I’m more comfortable with belonging to a group!

– one of the family – like my brother-in-law – can be significant just like one from the group of “Friends” – like when communication works and the heart is touched – then that person becomes significant over others! And a relationship can begin and maybe evolve!

In MY head there’ll always be some importance in calling someone my FRIEND!

Even if Facebook has “friends” as well as other definitions are put into that word – why is it being thinned until it’s irrelevant if I’m somebody’s friend or somebody is mine? Online! And then there’s the one’s that’s important for me – whom I look forward to “meet” online because they touch my heart – THEY are MY friends? Is it how I feel about chatting – thus interacting – what makes it friendships or just relationships?

How do I then distinct? What am I to call the significant friends over the persons that are “acquaintances”? Is it important to be able to distinct? Why? Is it important for me to have the people around me grouped? Is that an inherited need to make that kind of definitions?

I’m confused! a bit! just a tiny little incling! But I’m having the time of my life getting my world growing much bigger than I ever imagined! And it’s so much better than floating around and waiting for people to respond to my need for contact with other humans and for my need to be seen!

What is that – to be seen? Is it a bit like the “Schrödinger’s cat”: If nobody sees me, do I excist then? The need for confirmation and maybe even acceptance – but that’s actually secundary, that acceptance. It’s possible to be so isolated, that even negative or neutral contacts – like just going to the supermarket – is better than nothing! That’s really being lonely! And I haven’t been that lonely since I lived for 1½ in another country without my “groups” around me, because of that experience I realised I had to be the fascilitator to avoid that void to evolve again and thus I’ve managed to reach out and neither be isolated nor alone more than I choose to.

When I became physically inhibited I could very well have ended up isolated and lonely. I am!  – for seconds here and there, but by being living and breathing, thinking and feeling, I’m also working on being active and maybe once in a while even productive and thus leaving my mark – I exist! And I’m part of  a group! And the group is part of me. Cool.

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